Why We Need Structure
Why That Week Between Christmas and New Year Can Feels So Disorienting — and What It Teaches Us About Structure
Every year, there’s a curious stretch of time that many people secretly find unsettling.
It’s that week between Christmas and New Year’s.
The gifts have been opened. The meals have been enjoyed. The calendar goes strangely quiet. We’re told this is a time to relax, veg out, and enjoy doing “nothing.” And yet, many people report feeling oddly restless, foggy, or even a little lost.
If you’ve ever thought, “What day is it?” or “Why do I feel off when I’m supposed to be relaxing?” — you’re not alone. And here’s the important thing to know: There’s nothing wrong with you. Your brain is simply missing structure.
Structure Isn’t Rigidity — It’s Support
When we hear the word structure, many of us picture rigid schedules, packed calendars, or the demands of our working years. Especially as older adults, we may proudly say, “I’ve earned the right NOT to be on a schedule anymore.”
That makes perfect sense.
But here’s what neuroscience — and lived experience — teaches us: The human brain thrives on gentle rhythms and meaningful cues. Structure is what can create that warm sense of satisfaction at the end of the day. There’s a feeling of accomplishment; of completion–and, most important, a sense of really being present in your life.
Structure doesn’t mean filling every hour. It means giving the day shape.
When structure suddenly disappears — like it does during that in-between holiday week — the brain loses its familiar anchors:
When do I start my day?
What tells me I’m “in motion”?
What signals closure or completion?
Without those cues, even pleasant freedom can start to feel like drifting.
Drifting vs. Intentional Rest
There’s a big difference between genuine rest and drifting.Rest is restorative.Drift often feels dull, disorienting, or unsatisfying — even when nothing is “wrong.”
Drift sounds like:
“I’ll just see how the day goes.”
“I don’t really know what I did today.”
“The days are all running together.”
Intentional living, on the other hand, doesn’t require a planner or a to-do list. It simply asks us to engage with our day on purpose. And this is where Tiny Habits come in.
Tiny Habits as Gentle Structure
One of the most powerful things I’ve learned from practicing Tiny Habits as a lifestyle is this: Small, intentional actions create structure without pressure. Tiny habits act like bookmarks in the day. They quietly tell the brain, “Here we are. This moment matters.”
For example:
After I pour my morning coffee, I take one slow, intentional breath.
After breakfast, I ask myself, “What would make today feel satisfying?”
After I sit down in the evening, I name one thing that went well.
None of these take more than a few seconds. But together, they create a sense of orientation — a feeling of being present in your own life.
Why This Matters Even More After 65
As we age, time becomes more precious — and paradoxically, more slippery. When days lack intention, they can blur together. Weeks pass quickly, but without much to show for them in terms of meaning or memory.
Structure, when chosen consciously, helps us:
Feel grounded
Reduces decision fatigue
Increases satisfaction
Strengthens confidence and emotional resilience
It’s not about doing more. It’s about doing a few small things with awareness.
A Tiny Experiment for This Week
Here’s a simple Tiny Habit you might enjoy playing with:
After you get dressed in the morning, pause and ask:
“What is one small thing that would make today feel like a good day?”--and smile! (The smile is what creates new neural pathways in your brain.)
That's it. No need to act on it perfectly. Just notice what comes up.
You may be surprised how much clarity — calm — and satisfaction that single moment of structure can bring.
