From "Have To" to "Choose To"

From “HAVE To” to “Choose To”:

Lightening the Load of Everyday Life

Lately, I’ve been noticing how often my friends—and yes, even I sometimes—say things like, “I have to do this” or “I have to do that.”

It’s almost as if we’re back in school again, facing a mountain of homework or rushing to class before the bell rings.

Somewhere along the way, that “have to” mindset followed us right into adulthood. Now we say things like “I have to clean the house,” “I have to go grocery shopping,” or “I have to exercise.” Without realizing it, we’ve turned the very things that make our lives richer and more comfortable into burdens.

The truth is, most of the things we “have to” do are actually choices we’ve made—because they support the kind of life we want to live. But when we use language that sounds like obligation or punishment, it adds unnecessary weight to our days.

What if, instead, we made a simple shift?

Instead of “I have to change the sheets,” how about “I’m creating a cozy, fresh place to rest tonight.”

Instead of “I have to do my exercises,” try “I’m taking care of my body so I can move freely and feel strong.”

Instead of “I have to go grocery shopping,” try “I’m choosing delicious and nourishing foods for myself.”

That tiny change in words can make a surprisingly big difference in how we feel. It turns drudgery into intention. Obligation into empowerment.

Here’s a tiny habit you can try:

“After I hear myself say ‘I have to…,’ I will pause and reframe it to ‘I’m choosing to…’ or ‘I’m taking care of myself by…’” (And smile to myself.)

It may sound small, but over time it lightens your emotional load and brings more appreciation and vitality into everyday moments.

Because life after 65 isn’t about getting through a list of chores and dreary obligations—it’s about savoring the life we’re continually choosing to create!