Tiny Habits In Tough Times

TINY HABITS IN TOUGH TIMES

Recently a dear young friend suddenly passed away.  

No warning.  Suddenly gone.

Any loss of someone dear to us is a difficult thing to process. We've all been told about the various stages of grief, and  we all go through this process in our own individual way.   

What I experienced this time was a serious lack of focus.  I am supposed to be doing a lot of writing, following up on networking contacts, adding more bells and whistles to my CRM system and all that. Instead I found that I was drifting through days without accomplishing anything!

However, as I moved on through this sad time,, I found the use of the tiny habits method to be a wonderful way to help get my balance back in this time of stress, loss and sadness. 

First, I had to recognize that I was sort of “frozen”.  It almost felt sacrilegious to be doing common business or social activities upon first hearing this news and trying to absorb the reality.  I’m not a therapist, but I do know that the mere recognition of where one actually IS emotionally and mentally is a first step toward healing. That’s one of the reasons I recommend journaling or meditation– even taking a walk - especially when we need to sort things out for ourselves.  You can’t discover answers until you’re aware of what’s bothering you.

And, as soon as I recognized what was happening, I instinctively went back to my own training in the Tiny Habits method. I gave myself permission to drill back down to the tiny things of life. The little items of daily living:

Getting out of bed.

Taking a shower and washing my hair.

Making a cup of espresso latte. 

Writing in my journal. 

Taking out the trash. 

Figuring out something for lunch. 

Checking email. 

Washing the kitchen floor.

  A load of laundry. 

All those little things that make up everyday life. 

The difference is that I used the Tiny Habits Method and I  did each activity with great intention.

 “After I finish ________I will ________ and celebrate.”

And as I did each little activity, I wrote it on an index card and gave myself a pat on the back–  Perhaps not as exuberant as I usually teach my clients and students to celebrate their tiny habits, but still… 

I acknowledged myself. I kept these promises to myself.  I could look back on the day, knowing that there still was this fundamental rhythm of life happening. And most importantly, I kept some promises to myself.

This process of drilling down to my Tiny Habits and tiny activities gave me something to hang on to; something to keep me grounded as I passed through a difficult time of loss and grief.

If you’re going through some difficult times, give yourself permission to just focus on those tiny everyday activities.  One tiny step at a time. Keep tiny promises to yourself. Acknowledge those tiny accomplishments. Keep tiny promises to yourself. 

“Today is going to be a good day, even if I am sad.”